A recent Roller Derby training session had left me needing crutches just to get around my poky little flat; and, no, there was no injury involved – merely a compounding of the pain that had been gradually increasing over the previous few days.
Usually painkillers, sleeping pills and rest would allow me to return to ‘my kind of normal’, but this time the pain was persistent. Two days later I was still hobbling and exhausted. Eventually noticing that I had barely left the bedroom for most of the weekend, my husband came to keep me company on Sunday afternoon. As I struggled to find a comfortable position as we watched the remake of Pete’s Dragon on the laptop, I muttered the words ‘kill me.’ A sharp jab to my upper arm made me realise that I hadn’t spoken as quietly as I had initially thought. Once the film was over, my husband returned to his duties in the mini ‘studio’ and I turned to a playlist for solace. Continue reading “3 Reasons I Am Grateful To My Fibromyalgia “
I have been given this product as part of a product review through the Chronic Illness Bloggers network. Although the product was a gift, all opinions in this review remain my own and I was in no way influenced by the company.
If someone had told me a couple of months ago that changing my mattress could alleviate some of my symptoms, I would have assumed I was having one of those ‘yoga and green tea’ conversations: you know the ones – where people with no understanding of your illness impart their unsolicited wisdom about the best way to ‘cure’ yourself. However, in this case, what they told me would have been true. I’ve known for a long time that a decent mattress is one of the keys to a decent night’s slumber, but sleeping on an N:rem mattress takes your nightly rest way beyond merely decent.
Continue reading “N:rem – The Beautiful Science Of Sleep”
Much as I hate to admit it, I’ve been feeling a little s******d of late (yes, the word makes me very uncomfortable). Having a prolonged and confusing flare-up of my Endometriosis has led to me slipping into a strange and disconcerting existence where the Fibromyalgia doesn’t have to fight so hard to retain dominance. The additional issue that my GP appears to believe that Fibromyalgia doesn’t need to be treated at all has left me having to figure out my own regimen without access to any kind of safety net or physical support network. Continue reading “Let’s talk About Stress, Baby…”
I’ve always hated to-do lists. Rather than being a gentle reminder of the tasks I had yet to complete, they loomed over me like a book of judgement: solid black and white evidence of my own befuddlement, poor will power or plain, old-fashioned laziness. It would never matter how many items that were crossed off as completed – any gaps made me feel as though I had allowed the day to go to waste, particularly if it was some of the items at the top of the list that had been left in fruition limbo. The troubling thing is that those feelings of failure and inadequacy were already prevalent before my health completely caved in… Continue reading “Even Baby Steps Can Take You Somewhere”
I feel as though I’ve been having the same conversation with The Bear since last November… Continue reading “Confused, Or Just Not Listening?”
I am mentally preparing myself for a weekend of newspaper, tin foil and Manic Panic… Continue reading “Dye Hair, Dye!”
When I first met The Bear, I was a party-girl; drinking, smoking and dancing into the wee hours. Spontaneous and unpredictable, perhaps even slightly unhinged – but not enough to fall into the cliche of a terrifying histrionic.
We were from different cultures but shared similar, mildly chaotic upbringings. Continue reading “The Martian Princess and The Bear: A Shared Journey Through Chronic Illness”
It can be difficult, nigh on impossible even, for the chronically ill to find a real sense of peace. On a daily basis, our bodies refuse to obey the most basic rules of human existence, while our appearances give no outward indication of why our lives can be so difficult. We often exist in-between worlds: too able-bodied to be considered truly disabled, yet far too ill to participate in life the way we’re ‘supposed’ to. Finding a place to escape the heavily polarised ‘pull’ of opinions that people are often all too willing to share could be considered to be an essential part of self-care. Even with the various activities and hobbies that I love, the one thing whose absence sincerely affects my psychological wellbeing is going to the cinema. Without these periodic excursions into ‘otherness’, the emotional cracks start to become chasms – it is the sanctuary of the cinema that prevents me from falling in. Continue reading “The Sanctuary Of The Modern Day Zoetrope”
Fibromyalgia is a bit of a ‘catch all’ diagnosis. It’s often handed down when doctors don’t know (or do not have the incentive to discover) what’s causing the myriad symptoms that the patient is suffering with – and those symptoms are myriad; over 200 at the last count. Because of this complexity, finding the root cause or best treatment for each individual can be akin to searching for the proverbial needle in a haystack. Add to the mix the fact that Fibromyalgia loves company, and rarely travels without a companion illness, and it becomes clear that medicinal platitudes are rarely going to be helpful; it’s the person that has to be treated, not the illness. This is why some of the best allies are the ones who listen.
Continue reading “Trust Your Gut..?”
At first glance, and especially for people who read my blog regularly, this post will seem like a piece of unabashed promotion from a (slightly besotted) fangirl; and that’s fine – I’m not ashamed of this obsession, even if others believe I should be. But what is truly the driving force behind this post is an unexpected, and almost other-worldly, synchronicity that is literally guiding me through the unpleasantly complex maze of chronic illness. Continue reading “The Lifesaving Essence Of Being A Fangirl”